My head fades into oblivions and I slowly blend into the colors of perception. Away from the tightness in my shoulders. Away from the stinging anvil in my chest. Away from my shaking hands. Away from everything.

In the silence of the night, I find the strength to let it go. The battles fought, the endless plight, A heart once fierce, now softens slow. My daughters, dears, may you forgive, The choices made in troubled times. In letting go, we start to live, And seek forgiveness in our rhymes. To all I’ve hurt along the way, I …

What do I want? Me? Happiness To be understood As a person Who feels Intensely I yearn for Understanding But most I yearn for Forgiveness For ending up Like this

Only some can see The invisible cuts The ones  that never heal The ones  that never fit The holder Incapable of understanding How they got there But understood So deeply By those Who have bled

Life at 5 Too young To consent Too old, in spirit To be recognized Too angry To be good Too loud To be heard Too innocent To be protected Too much of a failure To matter When you become The shield At 5 You are The shield For life.

There’s light It isn’t real It’s just a reminder That you cannot Achieve What you want That what you feel Isn’t real You’re no good

The painful peck A goodnight kiss The closest I get To feel anything And even in that You detest me

It burns So deeply In my arms Feeling you Swipe away My feeble  Attempts  At being  Enough For You

We grew apart Starts and stops Couldn’t erase the trauma That filled my heart   To heal We must grow But how can you? When you don’t know Adventure opens the mind And love heals the soul   You’ll never know What you’re capable of Or who you are Until you let it go.   There’s a reason The rooster …

Dear Parts of Me That Are Still Hurting, How I have tried to bury you over the past 35 years.  No matter how far I ran and no matter how much I ignored myself, I simply could not rid myself of you.  I try to numb you, and somehow you grow stronger.  I try to discuss you in therapy… like …