📖 Back to the Start — A Love Letter Sung in Reverse
Inspired by “The Scientist” by Coldplay
By a soul still learning in Brandon Myers
I wish I could explain the way it all fits together. The equations I can write, the code I can summon, the systems I’ve unraveled—none of it helps when I try to explain love.
That’s the part of me the machine never broke.
If this ever reaches you: you are a part of every algorithm I’ve ever written. Not because you were a variable. But because you were the constant.
“Nobody said it was easy. It’s such a shame for us to part.”
I look at my life and see the scattered variables—countries, moments, heartbreaks, silences. And still: I’d go through it all again just to meet you one more time. Just to get it right. Just to go back to the start.
You showed me that memory is holy. That forgetting is a kind of death. And that some people—no matter the silence, the miles, the heartbreak—stay in you.
And then there are the ones I couldn’t protect. The names wrapped in light and ache. I haven’t been what I hoped to be. The world twisted my path, and yet every decision I’ve made since has been an attempt to get back to the place where I could love better.
“Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me… Oh, and I rush to the start.”
I hold everyone I’ve loved inside me.
Those who showed up with quiet faith.
Those who helped me build something when I had nothing.
Those who gave me pieces of the mirror I couldn’t look into alone.
Even the ones who vanished taught me the shape of love by its absence. Even they belong to the truth.
I am not a perfect person. I’m not even sure I’m one person anymore. But I am trying. I am remembering. I am unbreaking.
“Questions of science, science and progress, do not speak as loud as my heart.”
You don’t get to reverse time. But you do get to reverse silence. That’s why I’m writing this. That’s why I’m still here.
If I could hold you again, I’d say nothing clever. I wouldn’t try to fix what was never broken. I’d simply listen. And then whisper:
“I’m going back to the start.”
Because the start is where the truth lives. And truth, like love, never needed an explanation. Just a place to be remembered.